Hmm.
Missed the movie gathering at AMK hub.
WOW.It's hard to suppress the feelings as I have the urge to go.
I think again-HWK,COMMON TEST.
Do you think I could go even after I'm drained from school?
I can't even get enough sleep,surviving like a walking zombie.

Now alot people telling me I look like panda.
I know it myself,now,I'm trying to sleep as much as I could.

Tomorrow will be a busy day,
swearing myself not to skip any of the SLC.
It's going to end at eight,since I don't have any scheduled task/going to msia,I'm fine with it.
before that I will visit the gym with godbro as promised.
I'm not going to cancel anything at the last minute,
this is the bad habit I possess for quite a long time though.
I have my own conscience.

These few days due to stress and unhappiness as I fare quite badly in Physics and Geog,
perhaps I over-estimated myself and treat myself like a robot.
Yesterday,after staying in school when I wished me myself not doing anything,my brain was in pain,particularly i took a nap,
I will be thinking that members for the SINGA project will hate me for this for not doing anything.
I don't want to do it in the first place,I don't like being called an ambassador or what,it is not cool.
It's just because the teacher made me felt important,that's the reason why I participate.
Right after that I went for tuition,not forgetting the geography test tomorrow.
I intended to ask my mum if I can don't go for tuition,she's okay with it but in the end I still go.Why am I such a undecisive person at the last minute?
Now,I'm disappointed with myself cause I have the bad feeling of not getting full marks for it.Like the others,I can't depicts the picture of either a seawall or breakwater.

I felt...
I need to know what really am I?
Perhaps somebody can give me the answer,
who am I going to look up to when I'm in trouble?
I don't even trust my mum,how am I going to learn to trust again?
Neither I'm honest.
There are some who I trusted,yes,trustworthy.
I open my heart to them,and then treat it like nothing happened and never open to them again unless they have a way with me.
I don't even dare to show my weakness but only to some.
I used to hate this world,but now I don't,I felt agony within me.
Of how the world is so pathetic...

Is that,the influence from my mum or it was just me.
The pressure my mum gave is inexplictable.
I need my own space,and there she is trying to pry everything out of me.
I want to be alone and retreat myself from all noises,there she is nagging.
Perhaps in my life,she is not going to understand me,but she acts like one which is irritating.
I want to respect her,love her.However that only applies to my best friends.
She betrayed my trust and always complain about my stuff to others.
Why can't she keep it a secret?If she have kept it,perhaps I will trust her.
Overall,I did respect her,trying to be filial as I could,now.

So many things to blurt out,perhaps you people did saw my long essays written,maybe that's the only way to confide my feelings or make me feel better....

MESSED UP.